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Turning the Red Devil into Red Sunshine

Program: My Journey from Pathologist to Breast Cancer Survivor
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Andrew Schorr:

Now, you had this medicine we mentioned, Adriamycin, and it has been called for years by women the red devil.  However, you thought of it differently, and you began writing, and you started calling it red sunshine and the book that has come out of all of this, your experience, is called Red Sunshine.  Why did you call it red sunshine when so many women, maybe thousands and thousands and thousands of women have called it the red devil? 

Dr. Allison:

The red devil, yeah.  Well, I mean, it was called the red devil because it has a bad side effect profile.  And, you know, I guess just even thinking about the concept of taking a drug that — it’s bright red and is known to cause all of these horrible side effects is terrifying, so I was definitely most afraid to take that drug.  But I kind of made a conscious decision that I was going to think of my therapy as my ally rather than my enemy that was, you know, some toxin that I was going to be taking.  And, you know, it was what was going to cure my cancer.  And mentally that was a good — a really positive switch for me. 

So calling it my red sunshine, you know, I was looking forward to getting it every week and not — and side effects were really well managed, so it wasn’t as horrible as I had thought.  I think the fear of taking it was a lot worse than the actual taking of the drug.  So, and then as I, you know, journeyed through the whole experience, you know, red sunshine really more became a metaphor for finding your inner strength and finding the positives that can come out of a situation that’s trying.

Andrew Schorr:

Now, you did a lot of research.  There’s so much written.  We’ve done so many programs on breast cancer and interviewed specialists, some of your colleagues, as a matter of fact. 

Dr. Allison:

Yeah.

Andrew Schorr:

And so that’s all out there.  What were you trying to do with this book with your own experience?  What did you find maybe was missing that you wanted to write about? 

Dr. Allison:

Right.  There are lots of good guidebooks and things out there, but what I was most interested in, and, you know, I knew what drugs I would be taking and my oncologist could give me more information on side effects and things that I maybe didn’t know about initially.  But what I really wanted to know was how was I going to survive this?  What was it going to be like?  Of course you want to know, will I survive?  Nobody can really tell you that.  And the most helpful thing to me was hearing from other survivors. 

So I had sort of a cancer mentor that I called up who was another young woman who had been diagnosed right before her wedding, and she had gone through it just a year before me, and she really — just hearing her tell her story and how she was on the other end of things really gave me hope and made it less fearful of an experience.  And so you know I felt like there wasn’t — there are many memoirs out there that are related to breast cancer, but I wanted to hear more of the details of, you know, emotionally what are you going through, and then physically what exactly happens when your port is placed or when, you know, you’re hooked up to the IV for the chemotherapy the first time.  I mean, everybody’s experience is going to be a little bit different, but I think there are common threads that really help demystify the whole process and can give people comfort.  So that’s my hope. 

Andrew Schorr:

Mm-hmm.  Kim, I have to ask you this.  So you continue to work as a breast pathologist, and you continue to look at slides of other women, usually not cancer—

Dr. Allison:

Yes.

Andrew Schorr:

--but sometimes it is.  But as you sit down at the microscope and you know this could be a person — this is a person, but it could be somebody just like you, could be a young mother.  I mean, what goes through your mind?  It must be hard to —

now that you’ve lived it —

Dr. Allison:

Right.

Andrew Schorr:

-- it’s hard to detach, I would think. 

Dr. Allison:

It is hard to detach.  You know, when I’m looking through the microscope I’m seeing cells, and I’m in this sort of microscopic universe, and then I read the history or, you know — you know, most of our slides have numbers on them, but then you have the patient’s name there, too, in front of you and their age and a little bit of their story, and, yes, when I was first diagnosed it became — I mean, I always thought about the patients beforehand, but it became a whole new experience just knowing what that person was about to go through because of something I was going to put in their report.  And I, you know, almost wished I could write them a note or, you know, contact them myself. 

And so I’ve tried to reach out to patients a little bit more because I am sort of behind the microscope and I don’t have direct patient contact.  And I give a lecture at the SCCA on Understanding Your Pathology Report and also try to reach out to women through support groups and, you know, just mentoring people like I was mentored, and also the book and hoping I will be able to meet more patients.

Andrew Schorr:

And this program. 

Dr. Allison:

And this program, exactly.

Andrew Schorr:

Worldwide on the internet. 

Dr. Allison:

Yes.

Andrew Schorr:

Let me ask you this.  You — you have gone through different treatment.  You’re also at an academic medical center where they continue to see is there something that can help someone like you diagnosed with a more aggressive breast cancer have a long, full life.  And I know there are trials, even I’ve heard about a vaccine.  Have you thought about being in a clinical trial to help maybe make sure that this cancer goes away or stays at an undetectable level? 

Dr. Allison:

Yes, absolutely.  So I actually — I was involved in a clinical trial during my treatment that would have involved additional chemotherapy after surgery if I had had any residual cancer left in the breast.  And at the time that I had my surgery I was lucky enough to have had a complete response to chemotherapy, meaning there was no residual cancer, and so I didn’t end up getting the additional arm from that trial. 

And then I was recently contacted by the group at the Hutch that’s looking at the HER-2 vaccine trials, so I’m excited that I might be participating in that trial as well.  And I think it’s so important to be involved in clinical trials to answer some of the questions.  I mean, you’re really contributing to, you know, a cure basically by participating, and you also get other benefits for yourself when you’re in them.

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